Kitty

I posted about Kitty awhile ago here. My roommate and I have affectionately turned her name into Porch Kitty, because she would sleep in the cabinet in the little closet off our front porch.

Kitty was finally accepted and taken to the Humane Society today by Dawn, while I was at work. They said she was old, and that she was probably sick.

Dawn told me yesterday that the Humane Society had called to let us know they had room for her and asked if I wanted to say goodbye or if I wanted her to let me know when she was taking her in and I said no.

When I left for work today she was meowing, and I fed her the last little bit of food in the bin and thought about petting her but I didn't.

It was the last time I saw her.

I came home and there was a little box by the closet and I knew Dawn had taken her in. The porch was silent. Her cubby empty. Her incessant mewling gone and she was no where under my feet preventing me from opening the door.

I tried so, so hard to not get attached to her. I avoided contact when I could.
But I am so sad, as I type this I'm starting to cry.

She was so small and silly, and clumsy and so, so, sweet. Always so sweet. She wanted nothing but love and warmth and affection and I couldn't give her those things. I couldn't let her inside, since I have two cats already, and that's really one cat too many when you rent. I wanted to.

I know that this was right, that even if she isn't adopted that she will have a warm, dry place to live out her life, that she will always have food and water. And that there will be many people around to love her and give her attention.

And I hope that someone sees her poor little frame and her crooked little tale and falls in love, that she will have a forever home I couldn't give her.
But it is going to take awhile for me to get used to her absence.

I didn't expect to feel this way, I tried so hard to guard against it, but so it is.I wish I had pet her one last time.
Good bye Porch Kitty.

Meet Kitty

Kitty is a stray who has been living in our yard, along with other yards no doubt, for longer than we have been here. She seems like one who has lived a grizzled life, her tail is well mangled and part of it was lost at some point, she walks stiffly. Her instinct is to run away from people. She is a funny looking little tabby, she is tiny, maybe with malnutrition, she had a little patch of black on her chin that with her big, round golden eyes,makes her look like she has a constant expression of surprise on her face. She is likely older than 8, but it's hard to tell since a stray has a really rough life. She hangs around the yard, the compost bin mostly, and under the huge shrub that divides our property from the neighbors.

I used to shoo her away, until I realized she may be keeping the yard rodent free. Then for awhile we had another stray, I am not sure where she went, maybe someone took her in, for she was a lovely cat, just very, very thin. I started to leave food out for them. Not every night, just when I rememberd to really. And then last week, Kitty started to show up every other night, sitting out near the food dish and under the bushes. She would run away when I would go feed her, but then she'd come out and eat.

Soon, when I fed her, she'd meow, and I'd meow back and we'd "talk" a bit. I would talk softly to her and feed her and then giver her space. Then I would sit by for a bit while she ate. She'd hiss softly sometimes but stopped running off, though she was still easily startled.
Last night she came up to me a sniffed my hand.

Today I got to meet her and she is all wary affection and acts like a soul who knew what is was to be loved and was then abandoned. Like she once had a nice warm house and people who doted on her while she was young and cute. Like a cat who finds itself out on the street after a landlord discovers their tenet is keeping a cat and the tenant can't find her a home. Or like a college student who is always on the move and doesn't have time for a pet anymore. Whatever happened to her, she once trusted people, was once loved, and now she trusts me, and it looks like I have a new pet cat. That wasn't my intention. I Just can't stand to see them starve. But now she has let me touch her, and I can't go back. I think she is fixed, I have seen no kittens or increase in local strays, although that could just be because we have no Toms. But no doubt she has heart worm, tapeworm, fleas, maybe ticks, maybe feline leukemia, I have no idea if she had ever had vaccinations or whatnot and I don't think Pixie or Max OR Kitty, would be welcome to an outdoor stray coming in. This makes most medical care moot.

So I will care for her outside for now. Someday, when we move, I will collect her up and take her to the humane society, where they will fix her up and find her a home. Poor Kitty.
I can't think of another name for her either. Maybe someday she will tell me.