Kitty

I posted about Kitty awhile ago here. My roommate and I have affectionately turned her name into Porch Kitty, because she would sleep in the cabinet in the little closet off our front porch.

Kitty was finally accepted and taken to the Humane Society today by Dawn, while I was at work. They said she was old, and that she was probably sick.

Dawn told me yesterday that the Humane Society had called to let us know they had room for her and asked if I wanted to say goodbye or if I wanted her to let me know when she was taking her in and I said no.

When I left for work today she was meowing, and I fed her the last little bit of food in the bin and thought about petting her but I didn't.

It was the last time I saw her.

I came home and there was a little box by the closet and I knew Dawn had taken her in. The porch was silent. Her cubby empty. Her incessant mewling gone and she was no where under my feet preventing me from opening the door.

I tried so, so hard to not get attached to her. I avoided contact when I could.
But I am so sad, as I type this I'm starting to cry.

She was so small and silly, and clumsy and so, so, sweet. Always so sweet. She wanted nothing but love and warmth and affection and I couldn't give her those things. I couldn't let her inside, since I have two cats already, and that's really one cat too many when you rent. I wanted to.

I know that this was right, that even if she isn't adopted that she will have a warm, dry place to live out her life, that she will always have food and water. And that there will be many people around to love her and give her attention.

And I hope that someone sees her poor little frame and her crooked little tale and falls in love, that she will have a forever home I couldn't give her.
But it is going to take awhile for me to get used to her absence.

I didn't expect to feel this way, I tried so hard to guard against it, but so it is.I wish I had pet her one last time.
Good bye Porch Kitty.